Reality BITES, lying hurts ! ♥

ESCAPISM = SOLACE !

@ http://arushofbloodtothebrain.blogspot.com/

Wednesday, March 18, 2009

i wanna talk bout love. i wanna hear about love. i wanna see love! i wanna taste true love! love between a boy & a girl. i will get excited when i hear these kinda things! =DD i like to hear my fren's love story! very interesting & exciting story! but when it comes to me. EMPTY. i may have someone in my heart. but i noe... i'll never reach the sky! even the stars! IMPOSSIBLE! every single dae i thought about the reasons he may reject me. reasons he may avoid me. it makes me realli frustrated. angry. jealous. all this makes me feel USELESS in this world. this cycle have been repeating over & over again!! as if i am realli useless! this proves me smth when i looked at the rest of my frenz who are still single. its either they're unfamiliar with the word love. or having phobia. or scared to fall in love again. or even... they havent found their Mr Right. humphs. i write this post not for ppl to pity me. or wadever. juz tat i wanna let out how i realli feel deep inside without having to tell or talk. it makes me realli relief after posting smth tat ive been keeping deep inside me. every other times, frenz ask "hows you?" it made me laugh. not tat its funny. juz tat i wonder. dont ya all felt bored everytime, to ask me the same question? & i gave you all almost the same answer everytime? of course, i'll still stay the same. left on the unwanted shelves? humph... nice description ehh? "lelong2... for sale! last piece!!" ahahhx. LAME. i noe. but i guess those whose in the same shelf as me would understand ryte?? haiyoo. life. life. life. kadang ia membahagiakan. kadang ia menyedihkan. sungguh pusing kepala dibuatnya!! haiz. i noe maybe its not the right time yet for me. but its been 1 year. 1 year tat ive been holding onto this lust. a lust for someone special. someone who will alwaes make me happi. someone who noes me in & out. someone understanding. someone who respects women. someone humble. someone supporting. someone loving. caring. romantic. jokable. good looking in my eyes. i noe nobody's perfect. but gentlemen? whre are you?? whre have you gone? taken?? married? dead?? tsk3. /too much? is this too much to ask? i dont noe. =/

aku menangis setiap malam menunggu kedatangan esok pagi. karna aku tidak akan pernah tahu hari baru itu akan memberi ku kesedihan atau kebahagian. aku hanya bisa menjalani hidup ku dengan perlahan tanpa tahu kemana arah tujuan ku. bagai air yang menggalir di sungai tanpa berhenti, juga tanpa arah tujuannya.

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♥