ahhhhhh......... my hair SUCKS!!!! ='((( OMG!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
&& my HP still havent collect back YET!!!!!! MUMMY!!!!


okae, here's some question i would lyk u readers to think of && giv me ur answers! =DD

A. YOU would like to have......

1. $$$$$$$ or life? (choose one of this)
2. lover or bestest-friend? (choose one of this)
3. job or freedom? (choose one of this)

B. What would YOU bring along wit you when you die?

1. $$$$$$?
2. lover?
3. bestest-friend?
4. a family member?
5. holy book?
6. calculator? =P

C. YOU received a sum of $850,000 recently. What would you do wit it?

1.give your mum?
2. spend everytink in 24hrs?
3. divide & give to each & everyone of your beloved?
4. go for a holiday?
5. kidnap your lover & have your marriage somewhere else. XD

**NOTE: Each question, choose only ONE. If you do, YOU ARE A GREEDY person! =DD

laz sat had mum's-cum-mastura's bdae party. invited ros. we had a great tme togther!! =D we wtched 'jgn tegur' at 9.25pm. it realli hit me! i was screaming of fear & suspense while watching! ros was closing her eyes wit her palms & sis was hugging me. lucky i sat in the middle! hees! so when hme hme about 11 plus. washed upp & slept. had nightmares & i woke upp every 2 hours. the mext dae i woke upp late. at bout 1.30pm? went to wm coffee bean 4 tuition. got back at bout 4 plus & had hmwk marathon! from summary to essay to book review. humphs. den todae was skol. quite relaxing coz skol started an hour later. had maths test. wadever lahh. already did my best. humphs. den aft skol straight awae went bck hme. washed upp. changed & went to repair my hp! MY HP IS SPOILT!!!!!! =(( so i went to CJ GLS building. must pay 60 BUCKS. [still tinking how to pay!] & den went to imm & met aqilah. chit-chatted & ate at mcd. suddenly saw khalil & yanie! LOLS. XP after our meals, we went to ros's blk. lepak at the playground. den aqilah went bck first. ros sent me all the wae to wm. TNX BUDDIES! =)) ILY! && ILY the rest of you all toos! =DD hees. went back hme & reached hme at bout 7.2opm? humphs. yupp2. =)

Labels: todae's incident; i WONT forget.

i was emotionally-unstable juz now. im juz so stressed out! && u shld noe that i hate being stressed up! i wouldnt want to talk 2 anyone. not even the close ones. i'd prefer to be alone & be silent. it'll take about a few mins or hours b4 i could be stable back again. i noe im weird or wadever lah u may sae! when im unstable, i may sae or do harsh things to u ppl. but unintentionally! when im emotionally-stable den i may tell you my probs. i dun wan to sae this coz it may hurt ur feelings. but... if u do otherwise, you're actually irritating me. i dun lyk tat. && this is juz me! accept me the wae i am or juz leave me! im a heartbreaker. i noe.

SHUT UP & LET ME GO! urgh! too many things in my head! GET OUT OF MY HEAD! urghs!! my head's spinning. ears plucked in wit headphones. heart's burning wit fire. cant & wont listen to people nagging! TOO MUCH! HATE IT. its NOT my fault! so why are you scolding me?? i hate it! dah lahh semua bende suro aku buat. den still can sae i didnt even do anytink! wth? semua orang same aje! buat bende tak fikirkan perasaan orang! asyik kene fikirkan perasaan orang laen! abeh aku? ade fikir tak? ade? TAKDE! i dont tink so! && ur promises are juz LIES! u can sae this & that at first but after some time, it all goes into the drain! blame myself 4 believing in ur bloody lies! i treated u nicely & respected u as an elder, && u did this to me? is this FAIR? NO! IT IS NOT!! aku dah cukup! dah tak blh tahan lagi hidup macam gini! aku berjanji. tak kan termakan dgn janji2 palsu. ataupun diri aku sendiri! semua orang pembohong! aku pun jugak. everybody dont keep upp wit their promises! && bile aku dah kerje nanti, aku tak kan biarkan orang pijak kepale aku! aku tak suke! i'll lead my own life.

Labels: a confession of an emo-shitty girl

if i cld choose between death or stay alive but live in miserable; had to go on life in circles... i wld choose death. reason? simple! may i go to heaven or to hell. even if i had to go to hell, it is even BETTER than staying in the mortal world & live in circles! im not saeing tat im not afraid of death.. i juz simply hate it when ive moved on.. but the past juz keeps haunting me! i realli cant! when it does, i'll tend to do decisions without tinking & might hurt the innocent. im happy wit wad i have now, so? wads next? dun make me let the history repeats itself again! ENOUGH.. enough... NO more! NOT anymre! i may hav chosen the wrong path laz tme.. but not anymre! ive promised myslf tat i wld tink carefully b4 making any decisions! && WHY? YOU! wads the meaning of all this? why do you make me this wae? why do i hav to go thru this? why aft ive moved on? gawd! WHY?? why muz you beat ard the bush??!!

Labels: happiness had juz begun; now you wanna take it back?

it was about a month since i met my cuzzies, nephewz & relatives! XDD hw i missed them so much!! ystd was damn FUN! as usual, it was very 'chaotic' & 'dramatic' wit the presence of so many HIGH I peepz!! hahah. aunties & uncles wit their gossips & stories. adults wit their marriage-related issues. teenagers lyk me & the rest were doing nth else but.... "bombing" each other! LOLS. especially abg khairul; juz cldnt stop disturbing me! firstly when we arrived at aunt's hse at bangkit, he was okae2 wit me. sat bside me. & talked about lots of things. him & hys LAME jokes! we laughed non-stop witht tinking bout the ppl ard! XP the ceremony started at bout 4pm? ended bout 4 plus i tink? den it was eating time. sat wit cuzzies. chatted while eating. humphs. HOT u noe in the hse! i was wearing black smemre! tsk3! aft eating, i sat beside sis & abg azril while they had a very long chatt till the old folks thought that smth going on! ehemm2! XPP out of the blue, abg khairul was asking me a qn wd wld my ideal husband be. but before i cld answer, aunt shidah was lyk "mesti lah handsme! kayer..." den mum heard that. but from her point of view, she thought abg khairul was asking sis but was hys eyes were on me. & then.. HAVOC! mum was lyk "kau bbual dgn org laen, kau tgk anak dara aku yg ni ehh! kau ade hati dgn dia kape?" hahahahahah! i was laughing lyk mad wit aunt shidah! mum paiseh oreadi! the rest joined laughing too! when aunt shidah tld her that abg khairul was actually toking to me, mum was lyk "ohh. begitu cite dia! hahaha! aku paiseh!" hahahahaha! wont forget that!! XDDDD i carried on toking wit them all the wae till 7pm? & den it was time to sae good bye. will see them again soon! =DD reached hme, washed upp. did hmwk. watched harper's island & went to bed. =))

weeeee...... ystd was damn FUN! =DD had skol till 12.15pm. kinda slackk though! so aft skol, me, naq, wani & rush went to wm.. walk2.. den sat in mcd till 1 plus.. decided to go nature park.. walked there & chit-chatted.. den naq's superhero came.. they had their own privacy all the wae back to skol... den we all went 4 training at 2.45pm! hahah.. lucky coach's mood was okae ystd! if not ltr she scold2 us.. so we did our 3x run dwn..warm up.. den immediately street netball wit the juniors! laugh2.. shout2... aloads of sound effects! XD we all got hyper readi! ended training at 3.3pm.. stayed back at semi circle & do crappz stuff wit the rest! went back at bout 5pm? wit my guy.. HEYS!! congratz choir 4 having silver!!! =DDDD hahaha! reached hme, immediately changed & went out wit dad to fetch mum & sis.. went to jurong point.. shopped.. everyone was hungry oreadi! so booked table for 5 at figs & olive.... but it was damn FULL! fed-upp oreadi! same goes for swensens.. banquet.. long john.. -_-" so we left that place && ended upp in Mr Teh Tarik! HEES. there is much better! we all ate western.. mum ate beef steak.. dad ate grilled fish & we siblings ate the same... chicken chop.. their signature dish... =DD our favourites lahh.. got hme at bout 9.30pm? washed upp.. changed.. & climbed upp my bed while listening to musics.. but ended upp sleeping! forgot to msg my guy! wth! hahah....

everytime i move on, the past will alwaes come back! either the people talk about the past. or the people that made me get reminded of the dark past. why? why not b4 this? why not when im still sgl? why now, when ive found my new happiness? i realli hate this to the core! wads the damn motive?!! gawd. u gave me test after test. shouldnt there be a "little" break? let me rest. let me hav my happy moments. u are & had already tested my patience & endurance. wad else is there? i noe i can face it. but from time to time, it gets juz makes me wanna giv upp! makes me sick & tired of it!!! from family to frenz. from frenz to studies. from studies to relationships. from relationships? haiz. haiz. haiz. posting this post is juz to vent out my anger & frustration. nth more than that. dont ask me why or wad happened. talking bout it is juz the same as forcing me to vomit all the expired food ive eaten.....

Labels: i juz dont understand........

hey theres! humphs. didnt update ystdae coz went out again wit parents. got home at 9pm. finished upp my hmwk asap. went to bed at bout 11.50pm? hmmm. todae tie dae. kinda sleepy. but todae was DAMN FUN! especially core lit! mrs B wasnt lyk laz tme oreadi. no more shouting. smetink hppned. bout gays. & rashid. omg! =0 hahahah! all of us burst into laughter when rashid was lyk "YES" to mrs B saying "not all gays are sexually in love wit the same gender......" he, himself admits that he's one. omg. org islam pulak tu. dunia ni btol2 nk kiamat! tsk3. i juz dun undrstnd! =S even if its true that the world's gonna end, why not have it ending wit a nice, "polite" one? so that everybody goes to heaven?.......

Labels: these things are hard to understand.

falling in love wit the song in blog! u're most invited to listen to it especially when u're deprive of musics to take awae the stress! gawd! i hav test tmr, thurs & fri. gd lucks to me & frenz yeah! =) wed is the only dae free. but still hav to STUDY. woahhh. stress! stress! =S

Labels: is this love? i cant answer it baby.

lalalala- didnt hav tme to update laz few daes. lets tok bout wad i didnt ystrd. good fridae. =D woke upp at 9.30am & went to granny hse help her cook 4 picnic outing. watch sensasi 4 a while till 2.30pm? den mum & dad came. fetched us all & went to east coast. it was drizzling. den rain. HEAVILY. so planned to changed destination, changi airport. but soon aft tat, it stopped raining. so went east coast. the far end. changed & had a dip in the water wit dad. BRRRRRR!! really2 cold!! as soon as i went out of the water, i shiver lyk hell! hahah! the kids & bro were making sand castles? LOL. sooooo-not-for-me! =P we ate. chit chatted. laughed. & of course, had fun! den at bout 7pm? got out of there & went to 'Gelato Art' at Sunset Way & had ice cream waffles!! yumm2! mine was durian & caramel flavoured. =DD mastura was shouting awae when i took awae her ice cream! hahaha! naughty me! disturb small kid! XP it was a GREAT bonding session wit family & relatives! then todae, had tuition at coffee bean ard 10.30am. ended at 12nn & frenz were already there at bb mrt platform. got to jp. met wira & ros. waited 4 alif, wan & mdm Hamidah. at bout 1.10pm we went into the GV movie theatre. watched 'Handsome Suit'! it was FUN! i love it vry muchy!! =)) it was damn funny.. CUTE... romantic &.... TOUCHING!! HEES. i juz wished ila.. syim... the banu's... & of course! my dearest love would hav come. ohh well. its okae. humphs. but aft it ended, we all went to wm.. i msged hym to mit me thre. =DDD may it be a very short lil tme. but at least i got the chance to meet hym & spend some tme wit hym. he sent me home. aft a tiring dae of photoshoots & choir! thanks so muchy 4 the trouble dearest! =))

Labels: i will alwaes remember that first touch.

lalalalala- i wished lyfe wldnt be this COMPLICATED. -_-" i cant take it anymore. sick & tired playing the game. everybody would give upp eventually! i juz want a SIMPLE. EASY. UNCOMPLICATED LYFE. get it? urghh.....

Labels: or i'd rather not exist in this lyfe

if you were in this situation, wad comes upp first in your head? && wad wld you do?? here it goes: A expressed the feelings to B. things that B longed to hear. things that made B confused & unsure. things that made B realli stressed up! things that can make an ice melt. things that was unexpected! decision had to be made followed by the time given. humph. den A realli love B to the core. A would do juz anytink juz so to be & hav B. obsessive & possessive of B. but B somehow cant find that LOVE in the heart. there's infactuation or crush. or admiration. BUT NOT LOVE. LOVE seems to be... such a STRONG word for B. so the feeling for A is there. BUT NOT LOVE. you noe, when you LOVE smebody your heart beats FAST & FASTER everytme that person come nearer to you? EXACTLY. that's how people react when the person they love is near them. but for B, B's heart rate remained the same. nothing. althought B feels a bit akward being wit A. && when B is not near A, B doesnt even tink of A. sometimes only. not often. everytime A saes I LOVE YOU to B, B can sae it back. but its lyk only literally. B sometmes mean it. sometmes no. THAT IS WHY IS I SAE ITS NOT LOVE, am i ryte? B somewhat feels better being single. mingling wit the fellow frenz. eventhought being single means that lust for somebody is there. but its controllable. being attached means you hav to take care of the partner's feelings. care & concern bout them. spend time wit them. a lot of people will noe. humphs. but B wasnt ready for that responsibilities yet. but B doesnt noe explain things to A. B bets that A wouldnt understand. at the same time, B doesnt want to hurt A's feelings. see how complicated it is?! && if i were in this situation, i wld rather die. or run away. being in that kind of situation can kill me!! =P

ahhhhhhhh. its been daes. about 5 daes? the pain is still there. either it lessen. or worsen. especially at nyte. it hurts the most when i laugh. lyk wth? i laugh almost every second! wanna tell mum tat its not getting any better. but then.... decided not to. she's buzy. i noe. too many responsibility. telling her wld only make her much more stressed out. i noe hw it feels to be stressed out. therefore i shldnt make mum stressed out. unless i faint or lyk im gonna die soon, i will not tell her. hahah! fair & square ryte? =D eventhought juz now i felt giddy. lyk wanna vomit. but i cant. it stucked half way thru my throat. & the pain got even sharper. but i still can walk. with mum holding onto my shoulders tight while walking back home from car park. got home. rest a while. ate smth light. took painkiller. & here i am, blogging. i couldnt get to sleep! haiz. im praying tat i'll b juz fine. =)) to aqilah: sorry bnyk2.. D:

to ika: i never had found hym. he was juz there. =P & i hope i wouldnt hurt hys feelings anymre. im a heartbreaker? well; everybody is one. humphs. anywaes... im bored at home now! got upp late juz now coz laz nite went out wit dad till 3am. ystrd went out wit hym, nisa & ros. slacked here & there. movie wit mdm hamidah & frenz was cncelled. so we went to mcd wm at 12pm. at bout 1.15pm we went to jurong lib all the wae till 4pm? humph. had a great time wit hym. nisa was all the wae emo-ing while blogging on her lappy. ros went off to mit her guy at bout 3pm. den aqilah came. hahah. tat part, i got a lot of tings to tell her. but letting go my guy's hand was difficult. hees. i dun wanna let go! its toooooo nice to let go. hahah! =P at bout 4 plus we got off the lib. he had to go off first as he gg out wit hys family. me & nisa went to wm aft tat. sddnly saw her guy. we were lyk "omg! this is not a BIG coincidence okae! its fate!" hahah! i went bck hme at bout 5.30pm. & den nisa went to tok tings out wit her guy. haiz. to all my frenz having BGR probs, chill aites. tink properly. there's alwaes solutions to any prob! =DD

had sports dae. the night before had gastric. was so painful & unbearable. settled some things wit hym. smehw he didnt undrstnd why & started feeling down. that was the part i cried. the pain had gone much worst. wad did i eat? junk food. several hours ago. i skipped dinner as usual. haiz. no appetite lahh these daes. humph. den i went to kitchen to drink HL milk & den warm water as told by mum. due to my 'clever-ness' i drank the milk cold. hah! the pain got even WORST! i started crying again. i never experience this before! lyk a knife stabbing non-stop on ur lower left abdomen & slowly moved to the right. instinct saes tat i shld quickly drink warm water. i drank & lie dwn on the bed. had nightmares. lol. i was murdered? lyk WTH?! humph. at 1.45am i woke upp. went to toilet 2 wash upp. realised tat the pain was gone! yeay! went bck 2 slp & woke upp again at 5.45am. met hym at bus stp ard 6.50am? humph. was lyk deprived of sleep u noe! & got JAM!! was quite late juz now. tried being myslf as possible as i can. it was hard at first. but i noe it'll never end if i ctinue it & might hurt hym the 3rd tme. i dun wanna hurt hym anymre. i'll feel guilty. so i prayed hard 4 guidance. & nxt thing was; i got hyper aft we went dwn the bus smehw & chatted wit hym as per normal. started off by telling hym hw funny the reaction of a passenger which i accidentally banged onto hys knees when he was sleeping. funny u noe! couldnt stop laughing! ahahx! den in the stadium spent most of the tme wit hym here & there & sat tgther. tat... smehw made me realli cmfortable already. the unsure feeling was lyk a lil gone. aft sports dae ended, aqilah sae wanna go east coast. den vivo. den west mall. den chinese garden. but we ended upp going to nisa's hse. watched "oh baby"... nice2! romantic!! i luv it!! HEES. at 1pm lyk tat paused the movie. we went dwn to KFC & bought food. reached nisa's hse at bout 1.45pm? eat while watched the movie. my appetite is back. hahah! =DD guess wad?! hawt lahh seyy the guys!! nisa & me was lyk "omg! omg! cute! charming!!!" hahah! den aft the movie, decided go nature park since nisa & aqilah was so deprived of peace in the mind. lols. walk2. chit chatted. ghost stories! & we had tat feeling. smth not right. hah! quickly got out of the park & went to the outsid skol BBQ pit there. chatted again till 5pm? & we all went back hme. so here i am blogging bout my dae. =))

010409<33
cheer to all those who had fooled their frenz & being fooled of 2dae!! XD 2dae was my happiest dae ever!! HEES. early morning, as usual he msges me. i knew he couldnt wait any longer 4 my answer. i gave hym the answer at 8am i tink? humphs. i could somehoe sense he was damn happi! hahah. immediately aft tat, he started calling me the S word. i was shocked obviously! LOLS. calmed myself & replied hym. i called hym the D word. LOL. i had no idea wad to call hym you noe! :P & so, our sms went on & on. in between; in class. i disturbed most of my frenz wit LAME jokes! hahah! april's fool mahh. FUNfunFUN!! den at 1.15pm left skol 4 SPH. had an enrichment programme there. they teach how to make humour dialogs or compositions. at 4pm had "tea break" time. after our "tea break", went back in & we tried making it our own & present it on stage. lucky the guys present & the girls brain-stormed. it ended at 5.30pm. took mrt wit the rest. IT WAS PACKED!!! squeezed lyk sardines & had a chat wit adi all the wae 2 BB mrt station. went to grandma hse & saw mum&dad. so went back wit them instead. got hme at bout 7 plus? now blogging. tired seyy. got homework but lazyy do!! =S

Dee♥,

A simple girl called Dee.
Hates decisions & getting bored.
Hates JERKS!
Juz dont understand guys.
Loves Bossanova & Indies.
Loves Reading & movies.
A simple girl will alwaes be simple.
Just like studying a literature book!
Either you understand it; NOT.
Simple isnt it? ;)

ohh! && i love my boyf!! =D

Ika Andre Diyana Rush Shahir Naqie Wani Sharul Rosalind Yanie Ila IlaTumblr Syahidah Nisa Khalil Shereen Billy ChewMei Eliz YueXi HuiJuan Bernard Vivian ChianYin VerlynnC. Vavarly VerniceC. 2e2'08 3e3'09 Dee'sCoreLit D&tBlog HistBlog09' Mr Lee StudioFrost ShopsWithLove LMH WaliBand Blogshop Sprees851 TheFabulousCats beloved!! Fadhlur

THANKS!:
Shirleen/Jialing ♥

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