Tuesday, March 30, 2010
If only there's still gentlemen left... How nice would it be? Haizz... Lyfe is unfair but why does it seems that im the one suffering the most in this family? What wrong have i done to deserve this? Yeah, time n again i will still move on wit lyfe n try to make it seem fun eventhough i hate going thru it... But when i get too tired, im too weak to face these situations anymore! Ive live wit it for years! How lng more must i suffer? Shall i shed blood tears to change things? Do they even know that im actually hurt deeply inside my heart eventhough i may seem to be ignoring it... Shit! Im starting to hate lyfe again. Wait. Whats the point of bragging bout these things anw? Does it make the pain lessen or go awaes? Obviously NO!
Labels: I hate myself even more..
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im so stoopid to stumble over things from the past. i shouldnt have opened the stack of papers on top shelf! it reminded my soo much about the past & made me soo emotional that tears rolled down my cheeks. why did i cry? is it bcoz i miss hym? or did i juz miss my lower sec lyfe? or is it bcoz i miss being in entanglements of love? i cant answer these questions at all... i keep thinking bout the things i did wit hym... i cant focus on my homework! goshhhh... PLEASE! it took me quite some time to forget hym so dont you ever dare do anythink foolish again my heart! it was juz not meant to be.... lyfe really have to move on!Labels: emotional dae....
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Saturday, March 27, 2010
Its been an emotional dae for since i woke upp... I already feel so stressed up first thing in the morning... I really hate it coz i couldnt control myself when im lyk this n todae is a big dae! lotsa things to be done! Had a bdae party n gathering for my aunt.. Wasnt in the mood at all. Was rushing here n there.. Really chaos! I was thinking about lotsa things n all i could do was sigh. "is this the best you can do?" the voice said. Hell yeah, ive done my best but things nvr change! Things nvr go my wae! What else can i do?? Im useless. I have too many flaws. I duno which to prioritise first. Im lost. I envy others so much. What can i do? What? Is this the sign i should juz give upp?
Labels: You say things without thinking people might be get hurt..
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Friday, March 26, 2010
lelaki kalau dah malas nak layan mane nak bilang, btol tak? wookey. this is soooo gonna be a LONG post.
i've been trying so hard to make myself do good deeds to people no matter what race & religion are they... how young & old they are.. how thin & fat they are... how pretty & ugly they looked like... coz no matter what; we're still human beings & human beings should help each other. if i keep on criticizing people, it is as though im criticizing god's creation. ;) so todae..... i did a GOOD DEED & im proud of it!! ;DD it may be a no-BIG-deal to others but its BIG & MEANINGFUL thing to me & that lady. todae had sports dae. woke upp at 5.45am in a shocked state! hahah! idk why... but was panicking hearing the alarm clock & my head was spinning dizzy! dragged myself to the toilet & was ready by 6.25am. waited for naq but in the end 963 was too full & i ended upp taking 106 wit bro. naq was wit farid & nafiah. reached there superrrrr early, 7.05am. i mean... for the past years.. we've been VERY LATE then suddenly this year so smangat! padehal not running you know! hahhah! met farid & naq outside the stadium & we went in together. BLA....BLA...BLA... the dae was VERY HOT & we all got tanned. everythink ended at bout 12 plus. nisa, naq, nafiah & jasra headed to west coast bowling centre ryte after that. shahir, rayyan, wei ming & solehin joined us half round thru. had a second game but naq went off too. all of us didnt wanna go home & was thinknig what to do... jasra went off already... in the end the boys went to shahir's house to play games & nisa tagged me home to change. we headed to gombak. called ila. syahidah was wit her at her house so we decided to go to ila's house. went to takeaways & 7-eleven to buy our lunch. reached ila's house & there was taqim. XD hehehehhhh. he was half naked wit red boxers! tak tau malu btol!! when hys sedare called hym to go out, he panicked coz he havent bathed! hahahahhh! after he went out, nisa called MK.. we lepak till all of us were sleepy! buat macam umah sendiri sak! hahah! we left at bout 5pm? uh huh... so here i am! ;DD i hate Mat Rep Bin Wan Abe !! really hate these kinda guys alot! i alwaes CRITICIZE them alot bcoz of their personality & NOT how god created them ok? ;PP sheeeessshhh! AKU BENCI BTOL UH TGK LELAKI2 macam gini... bad influence... SAMPAH MASYARAKAT! urgh! BENCI!!! what? HATE what i sae? fire's burning? get lost then! Labels: I don't have an attitude problem. You have a perception problem. ;P
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Thursday, March 25, 2010
I think im gonna get a fever.. Im now walking home n its freaking cold! I thought it was only juz now coz i had juz bathed n then ryte away go out. But no... My voice's serak too! Im feeling weak.. I feel as thought its taking me years to reach home... Geez! Tmrw sports dae somemore.... I dun wanna go but i wan to go u know? Wookey, crapp. I need the bed! Seriously! Its damn cold now eventhough
im wearing a sweater... Humphs! Ohhya to Nisa.... I think wad u said in the last part somewhat makes sense. Juz giv what hys mum wants lahh asalkan he's coming back ryte? ;) dun stress2... God Wont challenge u if he thinks u are unable to succeed in hys challenges!
Labels: How far can u risk everythink else in order to get ur happiness?
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Wednesday, March 24, 2010
annyong ;) heheh, eating kimchi noodles now. lol. okae, whatever. NO LINK! XD humphs. juz got back from westwood sec for tournament at bout 6.55pm. last quarter was postponed coz it was drizzling & there's lightning risk alert. went online (away) & had a bathe. was freaking hungry but there's no food in the kitchen! so i cooked kimchi noodle. currently thinking bout what to do for homework & blogging. humphs.. i think there's smth going on in my house. the house's in a freaking mess & mum got back without siblings & dad. so where are those gundus? mum come back from work also never tegur me... juz walked in the room & lie on the bed. while me? have to clean upp the living room & washing the dishes when im juz got back & FEELING HUNGRY! grrrr.... a hungry girl is an angry person! i keep telling myself that its part of lyfe & i shouldnt brag about it & stressed upp myself. i need that! so that it wont affect my work. lol. i find myself weird these daes. since when i became so positive? hahah! well2... whatever it is i gtg! wanna start doing my work so that i can rest! toodles... TC people! lyfe's too precious to be wasted! ;))Labels: how do i clarify ?
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Monday, March 22, 2010
hello wellos ;) todae was rather FAST. yeah i know, EVERYTHINK SEEMS FAST to me! well, had free periods for PE & eng.. then at 4pm had tournament with northland sec & guess what?? we WON!! YEAY us! ;DD it was 37-18... hope the upcoming games would be a success! ;)) humphs. i can see nisa is in pain... yearning for MK every second! i wonder how much tears have she let out... what can i say? what can i do? i juz hope when she plans to convince ms chia & hys mum, everythink would be fine & she gets what she wants! ;) klau blh mcm nk kahwinkan nie dua budak jee! XD sooo dramatic; superhuman love story! btol tak nisa?? korean dramas that i alwaes watch also lose! hahahhah! well, this may sound kinda bad but i juz hope you wont go blind crying & crying & crying NON-STOP khairunnisa nazurah! things cant always go the way you want it to be. lyfe has to move on no matter what. but whatever you do, you know we're all behind you & supporting you all the way babe! its good enough that you get to still keep in touch wit hym despite being so far away... daripada orang yg tk dpt jumpe langsung & keep in touch... humphs! im going crazzyyy! if you know what's going on... then things would have gone berserk! you might even swear at me! hate me... & stop talking to me...Labels: what should i do?
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Sunday, March 21, 2010
hello. (: how have your holidaes been? humphs. i think its rather FAST that the week's finally OVER! macam tak puas uh holidae! hahah! well, lyfe still gotta move on ryte? O LEVELS tetap O LEVELS. haiz. mcm mane nk keep motivated to study & score well for O's ehk? bile kene serangpenyakit MALAS nie leceh tau! seluruh badan kene rasuk syaitan! juz lyk Mrs B ckp. hahahahahh! ape nak buat?? mase berlalu dgn pantas! too precious to be wasted! need to do smth to stop myself from engaging in useless things that cant guarantee good future! ); Labels: perseverance ....
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Thursday, March 18, 2010
Lama sungguh hari berlaluHening malam menyiksakuBila bersendirian sepi jadi piluKau pergi aku yang hilangSedikit pun hidup tak senangLangit cerah ku renung mendung kelabuKerana diriku bukan akuTiap kali kau menjauhFikiran tak keruanJiwa rasa kekosonganDiriku bukan akuTiap kali kau menjauhPulangkan dia ke pangkuankuYang digemar menjadi bosanSukarnya cari ketenteramanBila hati bersedih semuanya tak betulKu cuba setabah hati melupakanDirimu dari ingatanTapi semakin dicuba semakin rinduLabels: will you ever know ?
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Wednesday, March 17, 2010
its TIGHT but its not peelingg.... -____- is there smth wrong? shall i go ask if there's anythink wrong?? i duno know why i didnt wanna let people noe bout this the last 6 mths.. but somehow i didnt mind telling people bout it now when they ask. hahah. heck care lahh. say what you wanna sae. i have the rights to feel uncomfortable wit my looks. ;PP nobody's PERFECT. ;))
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Monday, March 15, 2010
without me realising; its less than 24 hours before it happens! i really won't meet anybody until i get better. most probably the weekends! i know next mondae's the first netball match for the challenge league... but im pretty sure im not allowed to do physical training & sweat myself. i feel bad for not being able to go for tuesdae's & thurdae's training! my netball skills karat already... need to brush upp! but how?!! naq had left me alone here & fly off to korea! ENJOYING SOMEMORE! ;(( confirm ms salina not happy wit us. ;(( humphs. won't be attending chem & malay class tmrw also... not going for d&t on wed.... also core lit consultation & netball on thurs... if im okae by thurs, i may be going.. if not then no... woahh! thats alot! i need to pay back! perhaps sch reopens i'll stayback to repay back. lols. i hope it'll work. hope teachers would understand. ;PPLabels: i'll never be the same ..., if we ever meet again
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Sunday, March 14, 2010
i seem to have forgotten all my childhood memories. lols. todae i was asked to tag along to a wedding invitation at teban gardens. (I HAVE BLISTERS ALL OVER MY TOES!!!) the weather was very hot & a moment ltr it started to drizzle! by the time we got there, we were all wet & then my grandma & mum introduced to me a nanny that used to take care of me & sis when we were very young & was living at teban. (i should be around 1-4 years old??) then there's this guy called johari? bohari? johan? borhan? idk lah.. but the only this i remembered was that me, sis & hym used to play together outside the house & i called hym bobo? hahahah!! XD he's lyk a year older than me & he's in sec 5 now. he said he still remember me. juz that we're all grown-ups now & we look different. humphs. then i was thinking... if he's my childhood fren... then wafi? sejak bile ehh? what i remember was that we sat outside the house playing & he was eating cornflakes wit berries & he offered me some. LOLS! wookeeyyy.... so kire each time my parents move... i have made frens! abeh kat jurong east plak dgn sape?? bukit batok?? hahahahhahhh! its cool to see how fast we have all grown up! humphs. girls; dun ever believe a guy's words coz in the end... you're the who's gonna get hurt!guys are juz plain heartbreakers. todae they can promise you this & that, then the next dae they say the opposite thing! it ain't worth it....
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Friday, March 12, 2010
girls, what would you do if this guy is chatting wit you randomly then after a while he suddenly pop out a question; "what do you say if i want you to be mine? i dun care how long it takes for you to finish your studies as long as its worth it." how are you gonna answer hym? what would be thinking?? humphs. i really duno what to do ryte now. its so sudden! & im lyk thinking VERY CAREFULLY... all the responsibilities... O LEVELS.. O LEVELS.. & O LEVELS! i immediately told hym i cant. he was however stubborn & kept saying he want to wait for me. (blh pecaye ke kate2 mamat2 nie sumer?? hahah!) so i juz said wadever it is; i juz dun want to break your heart in the end. he only said okae. btol tak btol nie mamat?? haiyooo... im juz going wit the flow lahh! he's a nice guy. ;))
it may a little too early.. BUT i must make sure YOU keep your promise MR KHAIRUL HAZMEL. make sure it happens on the 10th april wookey ? i'll be waitingggg..... ;DD
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Thursday, March 11, 2010
wookeyy. todae was urrmmm... a FUN dae! except that the beginning of the dae was kinda draggy. was feeling sleepy + tired + moody! then after HEY lesson, it got better. back to normal self. had History LSP at 2.30pm. it was cool coz we played smth lyk amazing race... either find 3 essay qns in the sch & do.. or find the bonus Russian Revolution Book & then we can juz go home.. my group was ila, yanie, syazwani, shamani, wei ming & myself. we were really enthusiastic as we wanted to go off early.. so we quickly find everywhere & found the qns but having the book is better! so we search again & then found the book outside the staff room! weeeeeeeeeee........ we then went off to youth oasis. rest & relax. then solehin ajak us play cards. there was syazwani, kamal, shahir, wei ming, rayyan, alif, solehin, syahidah, syimah & me. started wit murderer? then curi? then 21? then hide & seek! HAHAHAHAHHH! buat kene bdh seyy we all.. but it was REALLY FUN spending my time wit them uh... it was WORTH IT! ;DDLabels: how can i not feel scared when im alwaes reminded of it...
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Tuesday, March 9, 2010
im reminded that i have 6 day left before it happens. the more i read the precautions & how's it gonna be... im really chickened out! im scared... what if it doesnt work out? can i change my mind? can i not go for it?? they say its the best solution for me... but how? ive to avoid people for that week. obviously im not going for MT class & chem class.. but ive to go back to school for core lit consultation on thurs.. im not sure if i'll be fine by then.. awww; plz let me cancel it?? juz let me be this wayy... but another side of me is telling me to go on.. it'll help me in a way or another. gosshhh. takut lahh........... im kinda glad mum's accompanying me on that dae. juz for it. & then everythink changes. either for the best or the worse. it'll depends. ;)Labels: god; everything's in your hands now ...
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sorry no post yesterday. was busy doing homework. i had just finished core lit blogging & im thinking what should i do now?? watch hand in hand (channel 8) till 8pm then continue other homework.. or just continue doing? humphs... i guess at 8pm then i continue! do my d&t & also online to chat wit someone. ;DD i can see the green light. it is not as bad as i thought it would be! hehehh! ohh noo... after tmrw it'll be a week plus 3 daes i wont be seeing someone. ;(( endurance.. endurance.. endurance.. im not even sure if this is for REAL. ;PPLabels: we'll see what happens next alrytes..
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Saturday, March 6, 2010
woookeeyyy. hari ini aku sungguh penat & ngantok! heheh! wanna noe why?? tuition was changed to tmrw morning... so i juz went for netball training at 11am since MT remedial was cancelled. it was super cool coz coach introduced this resistance drill whereby lets say i hav to hod or hug naqiah's waist for three sec while naq tries to run forward to catch the ball. this will help us to improve on our running? i guess so uh.. sweating lyk hell alr... the weather these daes are DAMN HOT ! therefore the girls & i planned to go for a swim! ;)) ended my training at ard 1 plus? changed to fresh clothings & rushed to jurong west swimming complex to meet gfs there! ;DD by the tme i reached there i was sweating lyk hell & couldnt wait to dip myself into the pool. the girls were waiting for me at the mushroom baby pool? hahahah! sampai jee terus kene splash air! at last i surrendered myself into the water! hahah! lotsa fun things happened... malas uhh nk elaborate further... by well; we saw natasha? & edwin? uh huh... going to the pool... JUZ THE TWO OF THEM... then all of us suspicious already! lols! i was soo hungry alr that as soon as i opened the locker i took out biscuits & orange juice & indulge myslef while ila & syahidah carik nisa & syim yg kehilangan.... wakakakakakakaaaaaa! XD reached home by 6 plus & i immediately took a nap!
because we're related,
i didnt hope for the worse to happen to you...
i know HE is there as my witness...
HE will be the one helping me to get back to you;
eventhough it took quite some time...
what you get is alot more worse then what you did to me!
well; KARMA's a BITCH.
dun ever mess around wit it...
dunia nie bulat...
wad goes around comes around!
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Wednesday, March 3, 2010
lyfe's not complicated. the people are the ones making it difficult & complicated!
sometimes... we juz have to accept the fact that we cant have it all...
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Tuesday, March 2, 2010
had fun todae... giggling here & there wit buddies. everything seems to be cute to me todae! XDnisa & ila was cute when they did nonsensical things! mrs barnwell was cute... when she wanted to sabotage shukri for smoking outside the skol playground by taking video of hym wit her camera & swearing without realising that it is recorded! hahah! herwan was cute when the reacted to ila & nisa saying sakti juz walked past the class... then rayyan & shahir was cute when they did this funny thing lahh... duno how to describe but me & rusy was laughing all the wae back home! XDD HEY... wads wrong wit me??!! hahahahahhh! wadever is it.... it was a fun dae! ((:
i hope you're still visiting my blogg in silence... i will nvr forget you; FREN.
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Monday, March 1, 2010
annyong! ;)) sorry for not updating... for duno how many daes! was kinda bz going out & stuff.. so since im kinda free ryte now, decided to post. ;D wookeyy... i duno wassup wit me these daes! i feel perfectly fine.. kinda uh.. only sometimes feel a bit odd. but people are telling me that i have this... cramped or stressed or wadever face lahh.. && i realised that sometimes; i juz feel the urge to burst into laughters! when i did, they all would look at me as though seeing a crazyy gurl; i know! XD but seriously uh.. i really duno how my expression looks lyk everydae already. i dun even giv a damn about how i look alr.. i juz dun find the reason to look good in front of people... klau dah buruk tuu tetap buruk jgk kan? buat ape nk brubah when it only makes you look even worse? soo... humphs! thats wad i think... ;)) humphs. did to organise things. but its not working! ;S this sat is gonna be packed! MT remedial. tuition & netball training for challenge league! was thinknig of dropping one out BUT... SHITZ! should hav rejected when ms salina asked if i can make it coz i juz realised that by agreeing to go for tournament only makes me MORE STRESSED OUT... haiz! god, plz help me get my things ryte... plz let me do well in everythink i do! (netball drills aku daa karat!) i love you so much. you're the only one that can help me! plzzzzzz...... HELP MEEEEE !!! selama ini ku jauhi engkau. ku lupakan engkau. ku anggap engkau tidak ada. ku anggap engkau tidak nyata; padahal selama ini engkau lah yang begitu mencintai ku. ;))Labels: its nvr to LATE to realise....
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