Reality BITES, lying hurts ! ♥

Sunday, July 25, 2010

do you feel as though your head's gonna burst any moment? are you feeling bored & wanna try smth daring & naughty, juz to release your tension or smth? but a part of you says NO coz you're 93 days to the BIG O's? right... thats how im feeling now! im feeling so...... messed up right now that i did smth stupid? disguisting? wanna know what? at first, i wanted to eat the milo powder. but took the lipton gold milktea instant mix instead - to be different. so i started eating. there's a polka blueberry tea on my table. guess what i did??????? i poured the mix into the drink. stirred it. drink it. wanna know how it taste like? go try it yourself! i dare you! hahahh! but seriously, i think its nice. they should try make this drink some day! ;P wonder what i shall do next...

i know its been like ages since i posted. lyfe's been either hectic or the lappy wasn't in good mood. so yeah, i miss blogging & here i am! i dont really have nice things to talk bout though. i thought digging myself into work loads would be an ideal thing to do - to get away from things at home. despite that i have to face the consequences - getting exhausted everyday! guess its for my own good? hmphs. i seriously dont get it! if only i could say it loudly "THE PEOPLE IN THE HOUSE ARE CORRUPTED!" they dont see it in my point of view! they dont know... let me ask you, is it wrong for me to actually text my mum to get motivations & such for my upcoming O's? is it?? its natural for me to do that right? whats with saying im jealous of my siblings - one got bedridden & one is pampered since young. whats that supposed to mean? attention? hello. you should already know im close to granny since young & i love her very much. she's my everythink! like i said, i can live lyfe juz wit her - but its actually better wit you guys, in some ways.. i dont need your attention lahh ok? so what do you want me to do next? stop telling you about all my updates? right.. i shall jolly well do that. lets see who finds who kae? i seriously dont mind. afterall, you guys only need me when you want smth right?? in other words, ima slaveeeeeeeeee.

Labels: sendiriku menangis dlm keseorangan dan kekecewaan..

♥

Monday, July 12, 2010

im seriously speechless. really, ive got nothing else to say. its your lyfe, its your say ok? in the end, you're the one who's gonna have to face the consequences. nobody can have the last say. as easy as that ok? i've got better things to do. BYE!

so what if you say our voices sound the same on the phone? you cant see my face. but you know how she looks like. our looks differs. once you see me, do you think you'll still be delighted? well, im saying anythink. i was just thinking that if you were to do that, confirm you'll be shocked to death to see me face to face right? so... don't say things that you yourself not sure of kaes? ;)

im glad that there's still people i can love & they love me. ;D

♥

Sunday, July 11, 2010

okae, im damn sleepy right now. i dont mind being tired. but not sleepy! =.= sis was admitted to sgh last night. she had appendix. me, mum & granny reached there at bout 8pm. sis could only be operated on bout 11pm? guess so... dad & bro came... nobody said anythink bout waiting for her to finish her op & accompanying her in e ward so i came empty-handed. imagine how bored i was... having to wait from like 8pm to bout 3.20am? my hp batt was low by then... there's no more fun tv programmes & we're all hungry. we survived though. hahh. after sis gained consciousness, she was brought to her ward right away. she was crying n crying in pain. nobody could help her. it was a torture to transfer her to her bed. by the time mum & dad wanna go home, sis told me not to go & accompany her thru e night. she felt bored alone. so i said alright. (without brging any fresh clothings!) told mum & she said she'll brg the next dae. when they're all gone, i suffered. hehehhh. i know, she knows. ;P when everythink's calm & she's already drowsy, i walk my way to the waiting area. wrapped myself wit blanket n try to sleep. no it didnt work. stoopid guys were talking loudly there & interrupted my sleep! =.= so i walked back in & sleep opposite my sis's bed. by 7am, the nurses came & i had to help sis upp. once done, tried to sleep by her side. it was ruined again my the noises made by e other patient's visitors. haiyaaa. time check: 9.15am. called aunt & mum. asked them to quickly come & brg breakfast & my clothes! ;D ironically, i wasnt feeling tired or sleepy back then. but when i was alr in e car wit dad, i slept my way back home! hehehhh. i thank mum for taking over me. at least im home now & can do my work. sis is still in sgh. guess she'll be back by thurs? well, hope so. it hurts to see lotsa blood! ;PP

♥

Thursday, July 8, 2010

I JUZ DON'T GET YOU !

are you tired of living already?
is it so FUN to make a bloody fool out of your OWN fren?
WAIT.
do you even take me AS YOUR FREN?
so much for having such an innocent face !
whats the point?
your attitude sucks; SERIOUSLY !
BIG TIME !
or do you have a multi-personality disorder?
WHAT WRONG HAVE I DONE TO YOU?
what do you want from me huh?
ya lah, wanted to defend SOMEBODY you "don't know" so much ryte??
even so, why do you have to use such names ?
then convince your fren that you're somebody from the east?
BLOODY HELL i tell you.
if you're scared already, then don't do it in the first place !
face the consequences laahh; irresponsible idiot !
after so many weeks, & months...
do you know how much HOPE i put in?
how much i trust this stranger...
how much i wanted it...

& THERE YOU ARE....
giggling & bursting into laughters looking at my condition !
WHILE YOU?
you juz have to ACT INNOCENT...
lyfe for you, moves on...
THEN ME?
HOW ABOUT ME?
seeeee how SELFISH YOU ARE!
what wrong have i done to YOU?
TELL ME !
im really DISAPPOINTED to know this...
it shows how far a hypocrite person can go...
how judging the book by its cover is sooo wrong!
& how EASILY i am...
TO BE FOOLED BY MY OWN FREN.
how dare you backstabbed me, dear fren !
truthfully, sincerely....
I'VE REALLY LOST TRUST IN YOU !

Labels: i'll only forgive you when you cry blood ...

♥

Sunday, July 4, 2010

heyya. whatcha doing today? its great to wake upp slightly later huh? ;DD i bet you guys only wake upp at noon right? eeeeee........ smelly lah you! XD hahah! i woke upp at 8.30am today. granny insisted that i follow them to mcd for breakfast. so i went & at bout 10am we went to granny's hse. chillax. entertain the kids so that they wont fight & scream. haiz. miss my childhood memories! when we're juz so small & young, we dont have to think much. juz play, sleep, eat. dont have to think bout things thats too stressful to handle. happy-go-lucky! WEEEEEEEEE~! how nice is that? too BAD we cant turn back the time! ;( haaaaaaiiiiyyyaaaa! that brings me back to reality. i have to get back to studies! ive burned my weekends by going out & didnt follow my timetable! urrrggghh! get working dee~! dont be lazzyyy!

p/s: i feel like changing my blog URL... or change to tumblr? hmmm. but whatever it is... what do you guys think of www.arushofbloodtothehead-dee.blogspot.com ? give me your opinions yeah? thanks! ;DD

♥

Friday, July 2, 2010

idk why i cant update my bloggie thru my iphone! ;( ohh well. ystdae went out wit mum & dad only. i love it! ;D but after buying groceries, we went back home to fetch sis & bro. wanted to go botak jones but packed. so we bought some fries & coke from mcd & head to JB. LOL. impromptu. tsk! that reminds me of smth. i hate my bro. seriously i do! he's changed! he's getting more & more RUDE towards the elders ESPECIALLY me! orang ckp baik2, dier tengking. whatelse? i tengking back lahh! its good enough i talk nicely. i respect him. but where's hys respect for me? hys ELDER SISTER oikthen my mum OBVIOUSLY sided hym & blamed me. YEAH, im alwaes the DEVIL one right? he's ALWAES the ANGEL, right? haiyyaaa. idk lahh okae? he can be nice to sis but not me. dont know whats hys problem!

Labels: will he only realise once im gone?

♥

Thursday, July 1, 2010

woahh. today was FULL of surprises. & SERIOUSLY, i love surprises! but its juz that i dont know how to deal wit it. how to react to it & everythink. i can only go SPEECHLESS. but ending it wit a polite thank you. i appreciate what ppl do for me. i hope they wont think i dont like it or anythink. i feel awkward. hehh! i thank you mum & dad for the $$$! ;DD i was excited to spend the $$$ but without hesitation i handed the $$$ back to mum & asked her to keep it in my bank instead. i, myself was shocked... but i think its the best. for my future. ;) you cant predict when it'll rain rights? hmphs. ive got alot of surprises from random ppl. what day is it? LOL. haiyyaaaa! truthfully, im pressurized right now. SERIOUSLY. ive been thinking alot lately. mostly bout studies & responsibilities. i was feeling shitty again. listened to sad songs. i know it shld be e other way round but thats what i alwaes do. ;( until now i still cant find the answers to my questions. god kept me waiting. & waiting. & waiting. i wish one day i can juz break down & cry. but i cant. everytime i try, nth comes out. i feel numb. i dont know why. the funny thing is that, when i dont ask for it, i can juz cry like mad without any valid reason. crazzy me. =S im having this CRAZZY IDEA right now. not sure whether im really gonna do it or not. BUT my mind is urging me to wake upp at 4am & go for a jog. get home by 5am. relax. then at 6.45am get readyy to school. i sooo need my jog to release all my tension! but how bout a good night sleep instead? hmphs. see how, see if i can wake upp later. hehh. ;PP

♥