been busy these daes. TOO busyy! tomorrow's my MT O LEVEL ORAL! wish me luck! ;) good luck to the rest too! i hope we'll get distinctions yeah? ;DD


p/s: life is juz funny. i cant believe this is happening to me again & again. my enemies will alwaes turn out to be my bestfren! the teacher i hate now becomes the one i love the most! what a miracle... LOLS! i cant help but juz wonder....

Labels: i guess i juz cant hate others...

heyy. sorry didnt post ystd. already logged in last nyte to post. but sddnly dont feel like posting. for some reasons, i needed my sleep... like i alwaes do; to forget bout things i dont like. well, today i still cant forget it BUT im not as traumatised as ystd though. geeezzzz. i still cant believe it you know! i dont know if i can keep hys dirty little secret that long! the best part is that he doesnt even know know that i already found out & the others also have no idea i've found know! except for the person who told me bout this. =S i was sooo..... (cant describe e feeling) that i didnt talk to hym at all till now! nor did i bother to touch or what not hym anymore. i became paranoid when i see hys face. its as though he's a stranger. i cant even act normal & joke around wit hym already. feel so awkward though he's my......! gaaawwwdddd! why is this sooo sudden?? this really made my head go "dont judge e book by its cover" for over like 10000 times! urggghhh! dont know lahh. i guess i'll juz stay this wae till one dae smth happens. im so not gonna confront hym! i cant do it! haizzzz.... in two daes school reopens! things will GET MORE HECTIC! be prepared graduating classes! it'll be HELL for us! hahahh! wish all the BEST for all of us yeahh! ;))

Labels: biggest shock of my life....

talked to sis juz now otw back hme from ngaji. talked bout guys. lol. she kept saying me & my frens are minahz. & of course i said HELL NO! there's TOO MUCH DIFFERENCE alrightio... she said we "minahz" lepak2 do nth whatt... lol! lpak jee kene label minahz? the way we style? NO WAYY! JAUH okaaaaaeeee! eeerrrkkkkk! geli lahh kene panggil minah! dun judge e book by the cover kaes! ;PP yeaapp, so sis said... now you're only meeting BOYS. & NOT GUYS; MEN. once these BOYS go into NS, they'll all change. TRUST ME, by then you'll change your perception of GUYS. i chuckled. you talking thru experience? i asked her. hahahhh! i bet so... well, all i can say now is that i duno what the future holds for me. ive to go wit the flow & see what happens. soon. ;) so... FOR NOW.. CAN I STILL KEEP MY PERCEPTION OF GUYS? pretty pleeaaaassssseeeee......! too many i see out there; they're still the same. (for now, huh?) soooo cliche! i hate it! ;(( haizzz. urgh! forget it! you're right sis; i shouldnt be thinknig bout this right now. its too early. i need to enjoy life. so i guess my plan's cool right? enjoy all the way till 29 & get married by 30. told mum (& dad overheard)... habes mengamuk dorang! kwang3! unpredictable you know these folks! when you're attached they nag lahh what lahh.. but when you said like that, they scold also! haiyyoooo.... whatever it is... i know i should fulfill my wishes first then get married. geezzz. crappp! too early to talk bout these things! okae, okae! other topic PLEASE! hehehhh. you know, juz now i was juz flipping thru old stuffs in one of the boxes. albums, cards, diaries, whatnot found inside. read all the cards. ohh goosshh! i miss my childhood memories! ;(( thanks for all those cards ehh people? i cherish it soooooo much! & kak suhailah, i wonder hows you right now? we've lost contact since you got married & were unable to tutor me anymore... & kak hidayah... sorry i couldnt find a good time for us to meet upp at coffee bean & catch upp wit our lyfe stories since you last tutored me... awwww; sedihh lah! ;(( i hate parting soo much!! my dearest friends, make sure we get in touch alwaes kaes? i love you guys alot & i wish we wont have to separate... haiyaaaa! i die die dun wantt !! ;((

Labels: you still owe me an explaination my dear cyber fren ..

Heyy. Todae i feel different. Hehh! Went for core lit cluster festival at bbss in e morning. Was very sleepy but lucky me, yanie & ebel was in e same grp n we had a grp thats fun n smart. Lol! All work easily done. Amirul was funny. First thing he said during ice breakers was "nama pendek joe. Nama panjang joe jongang mintak ke jotos! Hahahahah!! We cldnt stop laughing loudly especially lyana n khalisah. (hys schmates) XD we talked as though we all knew each other for long tme. There were 11 of us? Me, yanie, ebel, rina, nabil, lyana, khalisah, grace, yiu xin? Amirul. (joe) & lastly yee jin. Yee jin was a man of few words though. Or anti-social? Lol. Cant infer. Hmphs. Soo it was dragged till like 1pm? Then we all, me, yanie, nisa, ila n syim went to mcd at gombak. Lepak... Talk2.. Gossip.. all the way till 4.35pm? I had to leave but they stayed till duno what time. Went granny hse. She kept complaining bout her backaches. Worried bout her but i duno what i can do for her you see! The only thing i could help was to appy ointment n massage her back. If not juz put for her koyok. Haiz. She still can say its not working. ;(( sakit tua mmg susah.. Kesian nenek tercintaku! I did suggest that she join mum n aunt for full body massage this weekend at countryclub gombak? Forgot whats e name. Hehh! Whatever lahh. Whats important is that granny will get better. Is it becoz she's doing too much hsework? I think soo.. Need to find out mann... Haiz! Ohh back to story... I went bck hme at bout 5.15pm n surprised to see bro n dad at hme. Got to know mum will be gg hme late so they're fetchin her later than usual. As soon as i got into my room. I suddenly started taking out unused books. Fuhh! Soo dustyy! Took 2 black garbage bag. Yes, that my aim. Throw 2 bags of rubbish... Clean... Throw... Throw.. Clean... Zaaapppp! 5 bags of rubbish! N its e black garbage bag im talking bout!! Believe it or not.. Lol! Rase mcm nk raye pun ade! Hahahahh! XD NOWW ITS CLEAN! Yayyyy me! I shall start fulfilling my goals! Jiaoyu dee! You can do it... Hope you'll stay this positive all e way! Nvr give upp! To live HELL or live WELL ? YOU DECIDE! ;DD

Labels: Cyber fren... Hows lyfe been? Hectic tak?

Hidup tak selalunya lawa.
Tak selalunya ada pelangi..
Kalau nak kata a bed of roses pun...
Duri-durinya tetap ada!
Terasa macam kene gelek ke bumi dengan ahli sumo! XD
Rasa macam dah tak mampu bangkit..
Rasa macam dah tak mampu hela nafas....

its boringg..
its dramatic..
its CLICHE..
its full of spices...
whats that?
i call that 'LIFE'.
well, welcome aboard. ;)

heyy. today i learnt that... not all writers tend to write bout all bout the same thing when it comes to malay love stories. well, all thanks to shahriah abdullah for her wonderful book titled seribu rindu untukmu. you know, some books ACTUALLY MOST; tend to have the same ending after all the heartaches & sufferings... the couple will get married happily & have babies. hmphs. was expecting the same for this book too. those typical.. cliche types..but to my surprise there's more twist to the tale! awesome book! (yeah i know you guys will say, why read when i feel this way..) well, i like doing this when i damn bored & i only have 2 alternaltives left: to read or to do holiday hmwk. heheh! so OBVIOUSLY, i'd rather READ then crack my brains doing difficult problem sums. thats my weakness. truthfully, at this point of time.. ive been thinking alot... can i juz quit school NOW & take private O's... take my time slowly... i mean whats the point taking O's this year then fail & retake private next yr? coz i think this is too fast for me.. im regretting alot that i didnt study well in sec 2 & ESPECIALLY sec 3... ;(( urgh! what should i do now? i juz dun wanna embarass my parents in both ways.... sob2!

Labels: ohh god plz give me the strength to go thru all this...

Heyy there. Guess what tme is it?? Well its 6.35 AM IN THE MORNING.. ITS SATURDAY ALR... & i cant go to sleep again! =.= i guess i must have got a nightmare till i suddenly woke upp at 4.27 AM juz now.. Kept tossing & turning but still cldnt get to sleep again! I need to sleep badly... I juz slept at 2.45 AM after coming back from watching karate kid. Then ltr at 10 AM i'll have tuition wit that annoying guy AGAIN! Haizz... Dearest eyes, plz giv me some mercy & go back to sleep before the sun rises... ;(( ohh.. Ohhh!! You know what? I heard dad wanted to go han river & try the korean food .. Then we go east coast & overnight there! Lol... So random! He nvr liked these type of food... & whats wit east coast? Overnight? Mcm phm... Whatever it is lahh.. Not hoping too much! Scared ltr he bubble only! Hahah! Ok then, sayonara! Back to bed.....

Strange sounds in my hse. Juz like when i was at pd. Couldnt sleep! Gives me goose bumps! ;S hmmm. I hope its nth supernatural. Lol. Okae, wadever it is... Im juz bored in the bus heading to vivo. Its great to have an impromptu date wit dearest aunt! ;D at least i wouldnt be rotting at home doing nth... This makes my stress go awae. For now. Heheh! ;PP

i dont understand why old ppl like to talk too much. i mean, seriously! ONLY old folks do that you know! especially the malays! the makciks will be very specialised in gossiping, throwing their tantrums at ppl & laughing LOUDLY within the clicks. the pakciks will be talking & talking bout stuffs over coffee. & the latest; whats wrong with a left-handed person being not so bright & intelligent as said by the scientists or whatever crapp. wait! i've not done my research... is it really proven that left-handed ppl are supposed to be more clever than those right-handed? & so what if its REALLY PROVEN TRUE? we, human beings are not perfect ryte? there sure to be at least 1-2% of left-handed ones are not that smart! i know im taking O's in juz mths! my grades are so f***ed upp. think i like it to happen? i know ryte... since young i've been the only one different. when i do things also not upp to standard. alwaes clumsy. break this & that. drop this & that. blame it on my left hand ryte? upp after soo many years... who was the one who did all the chores when mum decided not to hire anymore maid? who had to wake upp in the morning & then clear upp all the mess you guys made the night before? why cant you reason wit me when i asked why you didnt nag at sis to do the chores? i've nvr heard you say to her that as a daughter, she have to do the chores... blablabla.. & yet, being very lazy... she can have guys asking for her phone numbers anywhere... even in port dickson! hell yeah, f**king DESPERATE GUYS! but still... compare her to me! ppl dun even believe we're sisters! & for her, having a boyfren that doesnt even care whether she can do the chores or not... having to wear all the clothes that she wanted... easy to say, she's lucky to have these things. & ME? what? i have to do these f**king chores.... facing this UGLY face of mine in the mirror.. having to take care of alot of things... including my own body? you think i like it? i wake upp every morning & swear at myself for being the UGLIEST in this family okae. seriously. when i said i hated life few mths ago, i really mean it. coz i couldnt see the point... yet? idk.. im not even sure if i will have a better future.. im losing the hope alr... & its not bcoz i wanted a boyfren badly ryte now okae.. obviously O LEVELS first priority now. its juz... i sometimes wonder why it has to be ME... be it within the family.. or within my frens... WHY DOES IT HAS TO BE ME?? i've been asking god this question for the past 7 years. well, god still havent answered my question. ;-/

Labels: this is the reason why i hated makcik kepo... mulut jahat...

sometimes its easy for you to say smth without thinking of the consequences. its juz the same as making promise to somebody. well, people say.. ACTIONS speaks LOUDER than WORDS. whats the point of you making promises & swears to someone when you yourself not sure of what might happen in seconds, minutes, hours & the next day? well obviously, you didnt think of the consequences that might hurt that person's feelings right? so why be so sure? to show that person that your a brave & confident man? in other words, your HUGE EGO? do you know your mistake young man? do you even realised that you've hurt that person? the funny thing is that.. it doesnt even take very long for you to break your little promise or swear my dear. & yet you can still act as though you've done no sin & grin widely. you need smth to hit you one day then you would go to that person & say sorry. say you didnt mean it. say you weren't thinking enough. blablabla! sooooo cliche! dont you have a new dialogue? make this drama more interesting? gooossshhh! seriously... i wanna know how you feel! dont you even have a sense of remorse? the need to feel guilty of what you did? i mean... your sorry wouldnt even work too!you know what i feel like doing now? i wanna take a HUGE stone or brick or whatever thats hard... perhaps the bowling ball & HIT HARD ON YOUR BLOODY HEAD! F***ING JERK YOU KNOW! URGHHH!

Labels: there is NOTHING you GUYS can do to change it....

heyy there! im bacccckkkkk! such a tiringggg trip. but alot of fun eventhough we had many unplanned trips to like desaru & nek lang's house in taman austin. hmph. lazzyy to jot down everythink we did. so basically we got home yesterdae nyte. im kinda feeling stressed out now. coz it seems that mum & dad had been planning ahead for me. for my future..... just in case i cant get thru to polytechnic. ;(( you see.... i wasnt even thinking bout it! suddenly over dinner... at desaru... dad asked me what would happen if i cant go to poly? i said jokingly; perhaps ITE. woah. i myself couldnt believe that i actually said that! mum, dad, sis & aunt all asked me that i should try MDIS or whatnot to retake private O's if not going to sec 5. then maybe go private poly. i mean.... woahhh! i didnt even think bout that!!!! how SHOCKED I WAS... i was SPEECHLESS! i started to panic. i dun wanna burden my mum. dun wanna waste my time. i dun wanna embarrass myself. then again, aunt added... that after my O's, her fren aunty fiza had already booked me a place in the sub court as a clerk during the holidaes. & the best thing is that dad agreed ryte awae! i was like.... gosssshhhh! whats with the people talking bout my future? when i dun even noe what i want to do... i mean.... im not given the chance to make decisions at all! geeeezzzzzz.... this is too scary for me! ohh god! please help me... ;((

Labels: i dun wanna think bout anythink else anymore...

HOLA! ;DD today i wont be talking bout anythink i dislike or hate or critic alryties? I bet you guys are sick n tired of it ryte? Hahahh! Well, guess what? I'll be going off for a short holidae tmrw morning. I guess i'll be back on sat? Hmphs. This time we're going PD.. though its juz malaysia... Ive done my best in finding the best resort with lotsa activities. & of course, it gotta be water sports! Looking forward to it! Ohh, not to forget karaoke session on both nights.... Weeeeeee! Soooo goonnaa love it! Hmph... But it would be better if mum had told me earlier so that it wouldnt be fully booked for phuket, langkawi, khabi, bali & sunway lagoon. =.=. Nvm. Its okae. Nasi dah jadi bubur. Its better than juz staying in singapore. Syukur alhamdulillah our family ties are getting stronger as we spend a lot of time together since laz week. Eventhough its juz having dinner together, on one table.... Its been a long time we have that okae! & i really cherish these moments... Priceless ones! I hope it'll stay this way. ;)) hmphs. Not forgetting im taking o levels in months! I promise ryte after the short vacation im gonna do all the homework! No more fooli g around i swear!

Labels: Take care girls n boys... No hanky panky ok..

sometimes i dont understand why attached individuals would tend call/sms his or her friend MORE than their own steady. especially when their steady isnt there to entertain them. likeeeee...... HELLO??? i think its such a nuisance! coz for me, as a single girl, i have to entertain these people. i mean... ok lah i understand that you were feeling bored or something. but isnt it obvious that you're juz making use of others or substitute them? say.. for example one dae your girlfren cant contact you coz she's awae or what not, then you're bored. you contacted your bestfren or whoever thats single & FREE. but when your girl's back, you ignored your fren TOTALLY. what crapp is that?? trash is it? rubbish? or a piece of meat that you can juz slice thru anyway you like it? GOSSHH. i really dont understand this. i mean the purpose of you getting attached is to get rid of boredom & loneliness. do things tgther wit that steady & whatever lah. then get married & have kids soon enough. so its ENTERTAINMENT RYTE?? so why get attached when youre not serious bout it & you know you cant hold the responsibility? yeapp, i think being in a relationship is a RESPONSIBILITY. if you cant do a good job in it & you're not willing to sacrifice things, then youre juz not into it yet. not serious enough. SO STOP WASTING YOUR TIME! seriously.. i find it meaningless to get attached at such young age. & of course, aqilah will say "we're juz SIXTEEN! we still have a looonngg wayy to go..." well.. well, this is JUZ MY PERSONAL OPINION ALRYTIES? im not saying bout any particular person. but im juz wondering why we, HUMAN BEINGS can do such a thing. yadayadayada. HUMANS will say its a nature thing ryte? hmphs. you might be thinking how come i can still having feelings for someone ryte..? but plz think. who doesnt have crushes? everybody does! & it doesnt mean that i like somebody, i have to be steady wit hym ryte? i can still stick to my principle of love/relationships.

Labels: i juz havent met you yet...

"jangan pergi
jangan pergi
jangan kau pergi
ku tak ingin sendiri...

ku tak sanggup
ku tak sanggup
sungguh tak sanggup
hidup tanpa cintamu...."

what would you feel, when someone you used to admire/crush/like suddenly come to you & ask for advices? or even ask for simple help? as in something got to do wit helping hym hitching on another girl? or asking you to make hym forget that girl? well, idk... this thing really challenged me. ive to act as if its nth ryte? numb.. but its my fault too ryte? i mean... i didnt even confessed... (even if he already guessed it) so he must be treating me as someone reliable ryte? yeahh. so i shouldnt think too much bout this ryte? okae. shuddup. its nth. really. i should juz support hym & wish hym good luck. no use brooding over it. =.= hmphs. i really wonder why guys do this. what the purpose, really? to substitute? really need a listening ear? or juz too bored? well, i call these guys ENIGMA. RANDOM. ape yang ade kat dlm kepale otak dorang ye? well, i dun mind if one day god give me a chance to switch bodies wit a guy & experience lyfe as a guy.. ehhh wait! dont think dirty ok! i juz wanna know what the feel & think. thats all! ;PPP eeeeee..... confirm got dirty-minded readers here ryte? hahahahahhah! ;PPP ok lah. i gtg! nyte2! take care... enjoy lyfe when you still can! ;)

Labels: if only i found a genie in a bottle...

hola! ;) today im wondering... wads sooo good of spending time under the void deck strumming the guitar & singing out loud wit that irritating frog voice?? soo cliche of matreps! okae, even if they're not matreps.. they can sing all they want! but why sing so LOUD & disturb the neighbourhood? now i understand why people complain each time they see teenagers doing useless things under the void deck... hmph... && if they're voice so melodious.. not so badd you see! haiyooo... dont understand these people lah! & this only happens to be the malays.... AGAIN.... their are making a bad impression of malays.. SAMPAH MASYARAKAT! well, ive only one advice. when you feel like doing something, PLEASEEEE... think twice! think whether it benefits you or not... what positive & negative impacts/consequences it gives you... juz so that you wont regret doing it! ;DD

Labels: sometimes its juz not that important...

Things i dont understand today; why people are quick to assume & like to blame others easily? I dont know.. Its a nature thing. But its seriously bugging me! I hate it when people say things bout me WITHOUT EVEN FINDING OUT THE TRUTH. main sedapp jee mulut tuu cakap kan? Tak fikir! When this happens, i dont care whether that person is my fren or cuzzie or parents or smebody older than me! I usually lose that respect for them.. Its not fair you know! In this case, it was my dad. Dont know he's suddenly so annoying today. He said i slept the whole day doing nothing els & treat e house like a hotel. F**k! I got back frm skol at 4pm & took a nap ok. Before that i even checked that ive washed e dishes, cook rice n clean e mess that YOU MADE! the reason why ure like this is bcoz u didnt eat?? Then blame bro lah! I told him nicely, properly he dont want go take food at nenek's place. I shout2 then wanna listen. Degil nye bdk! Ego! Pentingkan diri sendiri! Shheeessssshhhh! Geram lah!

Labels: They dont appreciate me right....

there are many things i don't understand in lyfe. or should i say i have yet to understand it? well, for today.. i couldn't understand why things goes the other way round. vice versa. when i desire for smth so much or want smth to happen very much.. ITS DOESN'T HAPPEN. when i dun even want smth or ask for smth to happen.. IT HAPPENS! may it be positive or negative.. i really hate it! take for example, TODAY. was supposed to go for d'masiv & SO7 concert at fort canning. d'masiv tak lah bagus sangat mcm bintang hollywood ke ape. but i really love their songs so much!they should have come eariler you know! ;(( i had to sacrificed it knowing that my MYE results sucks & scared dad might nag (according to mum). so i hack care bout it. ALMOST FORGOTTEN BOUT IT... but when aunt called me & let me hear d'masiv singing & the noises made by the crowd! goshh! i sooo wanna be there! aunt told me that she still have tickets & if i want i can come down & join. time check: 8.45pm thinking i could grab the chance, called mum. nag. nag. nag. make excuse ltr dad bising lah. wad crapp shit. i got fedd upp. hung upp & went out of the hse. guess what i did? jogging. lol. back to my old habit. hmmm. i guess its good though. i know im like not jogging to lose weight or anytink. in fact, everytime i got back frm jogging i might munch non-stop. but... im juz trying to like ease myself! release tension... this is the only solution other than screaming, playing bro's x-box game or reading. gosshh. my old habits are back again! is this good?? i hope so! hmm. dun worry, juz now i only played bro's x-box & after awhile i ate ice-cream. then took a cold bath. relaxingg... so now, im stable. after a good nyte sleep, i should be fine. these kinda things... the next dae i will forget & move on wit lyfe! ;) people say.. maybe its juz my luck not to be able to watch it... ;((

Labels: dunia ini... makin lama... makin...............

Dee♥,

A simple girl called Dee.
Hates decisions & getting bored.
Hates JERKS!
Juz dont understand guys.
Loves Bossanova & Indies.
Loves Reading & movies.
A simple girl will alwaes be simple.
Just like studying a literature book!
Either you understand it; NOT.
Simple isnt it? ;)

ohh! && i love my boyf!! =D

Ika Andre Diyana Rush Shahir Naqie Wani Sharul Rosalind Yanie Ila IlaTumblr Syahidah Nisa Khalil Shereen Billy ChewMei Eliz YueXi HuiJuan Bernard Vivian ChianYin VerlynnC. Vavarly VerniceC. 2e2'08 3e3'09 Dee'sCoreLit D&tBlog HistBlog09' Mr Lee StudioFrost ShopsWithLove LMH WaliBand Blogshop Sprees851 TheFabulousCats beloved!! Fadhlur

THANKS!:
Shirleen/Jialing ♥

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